Mind Your Manners- Small Business Owner Edition

As business owners, we are held to a different standard by our clients and our communities- and one of the main ways we are connected to them is social media.

Social Media is still very much the wild west in the sense that there are few social rules when it comes to etiquette. How we react to postings, conduct ourselves, and even the memes or articles we share can cause us grief with our client base and public perception.  I can think of one instance in particular of a well respected Chef who I used to follow who completely disgusted me with his loose cannon posts and confrontational attitude in his online personae. Not only did he earn a block from me, he’s also lost any referrals I would have made for him. 

So how do you monitor your online behavior as a business owner?

I was inspired to write this post after cleaning a bookcase last week at my apartment and coming across an etiquette guide from 1953 I’d bought at a flea market many years ago. Every situation is listed with the appropriate behaviors outlined.  While the majority of it is archaic and hilariously outdated (I’ll share some gems at the end of this post) I like the straight forwardness of it the book itself, so I thought I’d offer a quick “crash course” guide to online etiquette for the modern small business owner.  

If you have any questions or insights, email me or comment on my social media channels.

Adding Customers and Business Contacts on Your Private Social Media. 

This is something I advise against as it is just a breeding ground for disaster.  You are entitled to your privacy as a business owner, and this includes online space. The best way around this sticky situation is the dummy account- which I mentioned in my post last week. Make a public profile that is your online “owners” account.  You can share relevant pieces regarding your business, insider information, event listings and more. It’s a great way to bond with your market. The “dummy” account is a hidden spot just for you. Use a fake name and ambiguous profile picture, and lock down the settings so folks can’t add you even if they do figure it out.  This is the account you can flood with memes, cat videos, pictures of your kids, family, whatever you like. Don’t let anyone add you on this unless they are a close personal friend in real life or a family member. This will be your personal “safe space” corner of the internet where you can let your hair down.

Getting Political.

It’s important to stand up for causes to make our industry better, and it’s also important as a business owner to reflect your core values in your product and personality.  That being said, tread very lightly when sharing political links on your business feeds. First and foremost, click and read the article in full rather than compulsively smashing the share button- most are not what they seem.  Also check your news sources- inflammatory headlines and balanced, reputable news sources can be rare in social media land. Try and make sure you’re not sharing political articles and debating every single day on your business and public feeds- I literally only know only one business owner this works for and I’ve never seen it work for anyone else.  You can lose followers and support if you flood your feeds with debate, rather than your delicious products.

Everyone is Watching:  Algorithms are the damndest things, and while it’s a protected trade secret how exactly they work, you can be sure that an impulsive, one off comment on a third party can sink you quickly- I’ve even done this myself.  Remember that if you comment on news articles, in trade groups, on a person's post, and on fan page posts they can and will travel back to your followers and they may not all like what they read. If you are about to post or comment something negative use this neat strategy they teach grade schoolers now about posting midfully on Social Media: 

T- Is it True?

H- Is it Helpful?

I- Is it Inspiring?

N- Is it Necessary?

K- Is it Kind?

Something else I do if I’m about to wade into a public debate now is ask myself 2 questions.  The first is is there something bugging me today that is feeding my desire to fight or argue online.  The second is if I have time and space emotionally for this today. 99% of the time, I don’t- and honestly, if you own a business then neither do you. 

The Electric Social Media Acid Test.

 My favourite Prof in business school was the late Ron Knowles who taught me so many important lessons that I carry with me today. One of his favourite ethical business philosophies was: “If you wouldn't want to read it about yourself in the newspaper, then it’s a bad business decision.”  I share this with my clients often as it’s a great way to test and weigh your choices in predicaments.  This can also be applied to anything and everything you say in a public social media forum- treat it like every single client, employee and supplier can see it- because technically, they can.  Do you still stand by it?

Temper Temper.

Nothing can trigger white hot anger and a sense of betrayal at the same time quite like a client hopping onto our personal social media feeds to criticize, judge or complain.  I’ve seen many instances of this happening- be it an annoyed client commenting on a fun activity photo or event check in that you “haven't replied to their email, yet you can find time to post on Facebook”, judge your lifestyle and cash flow by the new bike you saved for and just posted, or take the time to make a public product complaint on a photo of your friends new baby.  These scenarios have all happened to real business owners, myself included. Should you find yourself in this situation, your first course of action is to calmly and politely move the conversation off social media as quickly as possible. “Hi there ____, I’m so sorry to hear of this- could you please email me so we could discuss further? Thank you so much” Should they continue to push you, invite them a few more times to go into an inbox.  Should they refuse, you are within your rights to block or unfriend. It is not appropriate for them to attack you publicly on your own feed and if their concern is genuine and well meant, they will respond to emailing or inboxing. Also once the scenario is on its way to being resolved, delete the offending comment so your friends and family don’t hop on in your defence and make things worse. 

Slamming Your Peers.

I’ve discussed in depth about how exhaustion, anger and social media are a toxic mix when it comes to business owners.  The infighting that occasionally happens with business owners is even worse, because it will always attract an audience. Even if you’re in a trade group with your peers your discussion is not private because screenshots are forever.   I’m not one for inspirational quote shareables, but I did catch a great one last week that said “If you dislike someone, dislike them alone.  Don’t recruit others to join your cause.”  I couldn’t agree more. Not only is a really bad look for you, there’s something about holding onto and sharing this kind of anger that takes a piece of you away and puts a dark cloud over your mind.  Don’t indulge that side- focus on your own business and just don’t work with that person again. If someone asks you to work with the disliked party in the future, you can always politely decline with no explanation- because it’s not necessary and it’s really no one's business.  In fact, did you know that rejecting an offer or breaking bad news with minimal explanation is more effective in general? Drawn out explanations show uncertainty, making the receiving party doubt your choice. Less is more- especially when it comes to beef with your local peers.  Keep it to yourself or vent to a partner or confidante. 

I hope you all found this piece insightful and helpful.  If you have any etiquette predicaments, please reach out and let’s chat about them.  Join me next week for The Introverted Entrepreneur: When You Don’t Want to be the Face of Your Business.

And now, without further ado, the gems from “Mind Your Manners for Canadians” 1953:

“Beer May be served any time of day in tall, slim glasses or mugs, with or without food, but never on a formal occasion.”

“Ankle Bracelets: A well dressed person does not wear one.”

“The word “woman” is used when a men refers to his wife among friends, but she is “lady” to tradespeople or servants.”

“For thick ankles or plump feet, ankle strap shoes must be avoided as they are only suitable for women with slender ankles. “

“Slacks for women are not always becoming and should be worn with discretion, never on the street or while shopping.”